Over the years I have tried just about everything imaginable to lose weight. I’ve done Weight Watchers, drank Slim Fast, tried fad diets and joined numerous gyms, all to no avail. Finally, this year, I have hit upon the perfect diet. The pounds have just melted off. I haven’t lost weight this easily since high school. It’s called the lovesick diet. I walk around mooning over my sons kindergarten teacher and therefore have no appetite at all.
There is nothing like unrequited love to fill your belly with pain, remorse and regret. You are so full of your own emotion that there’s no room for food at all. My mid afternoon snack of cookies or chips has been completely replaced by standing in front of the mirror primping and priming. I can’t even think about food. I need to look my best for kindergarten pick-up. The fact that I don’t know if my sons teacher feels the same about me only adds to the anxiety. And who can eat when they are so anxious?
So far, I have lost seven pounds. I can eat whatever I want. That is, when I actually want to eat. I have gotten numerous compliments from friends and family. One friend even paid me a compliment on my weight loss and then proceeded to ply me with pistachios and dark chocolate. What are friends for? Still, it’s a sticky situation. Does one just ask their sons teacher out, or is it better to wait until after the school year’s over? If it doesn’t work out it can make for some really awkward moments. If it does work out, it can be even awkwarder still. For now, I’m just enjoying the weight loss.